Big fat white weddings are not what brides-to-be dream of

By Siobhan O'Connor Sunday June 17 2007 www.independent.ie

WOMEN are the strangest creatures when it comes to our weight. We obsess about our own and everyone else's: "Hasn't so and so piled on the pounds?", or conversely, "Isn't your one looking like a rake?".

It's as if we have an inalienable right to talk about it incessantly. How much we need to tone up, how fat we feel, how if only we could lose a few stubborn pounds, our lives would miraculously change for the better. Everyone has done it at some stage: you're on a girls' night out, somebody gives you a compliment and instead of graciously saying thanks, you grab your tummy, squeeze it with your two hands and say, "I'd look grand, if only I could get rid of this disgusting muffin top."

When you bear in mind that 80 per cent of women in the UK and Ireland have been on a diet of some sort at some stage in their lives, then it seems that we're all in this body image mania together. It is also true that toning up can be empowering. You hope against hope that you can keep up the regime, never to return to your undesired frame.

I have always written about loving my curves, as most girls claim to, but to be honest, like 99.9 per cent of girls, curves are wonderful but flab around the middle, love handles and bingo wings all served to remind me that I could do with some toning up. A big white wedding is one way to give you the motivation to kick-start a healthy eating plan. I'm tying the knot next week and for the last couple of months, I have been watching what I eat. Everyone does it, but some brides-to-be can take it too far.

One girl took her diet so far that she barely ate for the six months coming up to her wedding. She lived on maple syrup and cayenne pepper, the diet made famous by Beyonce. Afterwards she admitted that looking back on her wedding photos, she seemed emaciated as she had lost muscle as well as fat.

Bearing this and other horror stories in mind, I decided to proactively work on my figure in a safe way. It's all been in a bid to look a better version of myself for my wedding day. My goal was simply to tone up without losing muscle. I was very lucky in the sense that because I was part of Team Flora for the women's mini marathon, I was provided with an amazing personal trainer which has made things a whole lot easier.

I've been going to New You personal training clinic on 63 Lower Baggot Street. New You have been training me for the last two months and the results have been exactly what I've been looking for. I admit I have been very lucky to have had the opportunity to have a personal trainer. But you can get results in just four weeks, although you've got to stick to the plan New You gives you.

The reaction from some women to my toning-up has been rather strange. I could see significant changes in my body after just two weeks of training and eating well. However, when I was out socialising, some people I knew reacted oddly. It was a mixture of what seemed to be jealousy and bitterness. It's as if women feel they have a right to comment on all things weight-related. Even if they're not talking about their own bodies, they feel they can lash into yours.

Said one woman, "You'd want to watch it or you'll lose your boobs completely. You've dropped at least a cup size already." Another woman said, "Siobhan, don't get used to this new look, as soon as you get that ring on your finger, it's all downhill, you'll have no reason to look good."

Then there was the larger than life lady I met at a charity ball. She grabbed me and complimented my dress, saying she used to have a figure like mine, before adding, "But now I'm size 22, married and proud. I really don't care about my figure anymore.

She went on: "When I got married, I was a size 8. I had been starving myself right up to the wedding. I couldn't wait to dig into the meal. As soon as the reception started, my new hubby turned to me, saying, 'I can't eat, love, I'm too nervous about my speech.' So I said, 'Waste not want not, give it me.' I reached across him, putting my wedding ring in his face and said, 'See this ring? It's my passport to food'."

She laughed and left me with that thought.

There is definitely a notion out there that once you get married, you let yourself go. It's ridiculous. A ring on your finger won't guarantee that your partner will always find you sexy.

What I've found amusing about my particular fitness regime is the fact that some women act as if I am fading away. The look on their faces when they see me is just short of saying, 'My God, you were some heifer beforehand."

With the help of my trainer, I have lost almost a stone in six weeks. I've lost an inch off my ass, two inches off my waist and two inches off my hips. I've lost fat but gained muscle tissue, which means I still have curves. Effectively, I've gone from a size 12 to a size 10, in a very safe way, simply by exercising and eating well. I don't feel hungry like you would be on a fad diet.

Many girls have asked me about my food regime, which consists of five small meals a day. Each meal must contain protein and there's a healthy balance of fruit and vegetables. You're even allowed to eat potatoes!

I haven't been sticking strictly to the plan over the weekends and I refused to give up drink (don't ask an Irish person to do that!), but overall, I feel amazing.

Eating five meals a day consisting of meat, fish, vegetables, eggs and potatoes is plenty of food. In fact, the idea is to keep your metabolism going by eating more regularly.

One individual asked me what my eating plan consisted of. When I told her, she said, "I'd noticed a change in your moods. It'll pass once you start eating normally again." As she said this, another woman added fuel to the fire by saying, "Don't panic, once the wedding is over, she'll put back on the pounds."

I just smiled, but, hey, after the wedding, if I let myself go, I'll be sure to let you know.

- Siobhan O'Connor